grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
