i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize