on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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