It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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