I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
