i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
