New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
How's work?
Spinning.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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