I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
