He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
