Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize