real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
