We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize