Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I am one with the molecules
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
