he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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