i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I fill condoms, not promises.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
