Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
