I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
