I feel like abortions should bother me more
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
