Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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