have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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