I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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