Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
