I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
