I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
