he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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