tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize