I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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