So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
