Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
