Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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