in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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