i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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