He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
