are you still at the devil's house?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
