He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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