I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize