I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
