lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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