I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
