I'm laying in your front yard are you home
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
