I can tuck mytits in my pants
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
