Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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