Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
