My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize