the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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