You really coming over, don't trick.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
