It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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