this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
