Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
