Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
