New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
How's work?
Spinning.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
