Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
