Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
