I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
