I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Enjoy the penises
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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