In the future we'll all be gay
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
