better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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