i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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