drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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