the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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