I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
