My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize