Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
